Love This Guy!

Yesterday my husband ran to the store for me to pick up a missing ingredient for the dinner we had already started cooking. I was so glad he offered to go even though I knew he was tired from a long day at work, because I sure didn't want to go after spending the afternoon at the orthodontist and library. I made him a list and off he went and about an hour later he was back (and yeah, I did call him after a while to check and see if he was almost home yet, what a nag I am!)

As we were unloading the bags I pulled out the cans of green beans (one of the things I needed for the casserole I was making) and asked him if he only got the french style. He said yeah because he wasn't sure which ones I needed since I didn't specify on the list. It's true, I didn't. And I wasn't mad about it, and it didn't really matter, but then he said (and this is what killed me) that one day he hopes he can get home from the store and have gotten everything ALL right. Gotten everything on the list, the right brands, the right kinds, the right ripeness, the right amount, so there isn't one thing that I will complain about. I looked at him and instantly felt bad. It's true, I always find something to complain about. Sheesh! I'm as bad as my kids. I mean, I'm always complaining about how much I wish they would stop complaining and here I am constantly complaining. At least now I know where they get it from. Except why do they always get the bad stuff from me?

Anywho, back to my sweet husband to whom I immediately apologized. I have started to realize A LOT lately how great he is and how much I take him for granted. I think my mom is helping me to realize this. Occasionally, she'll make some little comment about what a great guy he is or she'll tell me that I need to thank him more often for the things that he does. And it's true, he is a great guy and he does do so much for me. Who wouldn't want a guy who cooks dinner and gives you a neck rub all in the same day and sometimes multiple times in one week?!

Early in our marriage when we had been going through all the growing pains and adjustments that marriage throws in your face offers, my husband told me that he would give me whatever I wanted if I would just make him feel important. This has only taken 14+ years to sink in (and it's still working it's way in there) but I do feel like I'm starting to grasp this concept. It's just the application I'm struggling with, perhaps it has something to do with my stubbornness.

It's true though, the happier I am with him, the happier he is with me and the more willing he is to do whatever I need and want him to do for me. It's such a simple, basic concept, so why is it so hard to do sometimes? Kris' grandma told me once a long time ago that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I know it's an old quote, but to be honest I don't know if I'd ever heard it before then and if I did it didn't leave an impression on me until I was married.

I don't know all the answers to a perfectly happy marriage (since I'm a ways off from having that), but I do know that most people don't stick it out long enough to achieve it. I've been thinking about young love lately and how fun and exciting it is, but how it doesn't even compare to the love that grows with time and experience and HARD WORK! I know I'm more in love now than I was 14 years ago. What did I know then? Not much, that's for darn sure! Check back in another 14 years and maybe we'll be even closer to that perfectly happy marriage! (I can dream can't I?)

Our young love state (celebrating our 1st anniversary a long, long time ago)

The Sideburn Saga Continued

Remember the post about Wesley's sideburns here? I was totally trying so hard to not be annoyed by him/them. It wouldn't have been so bad if every time I looked over at Wes he didn't have some ridiculous comment about how much I loved his sideburns. Or how he was keeping them forever. Or how many compliments he was getting on them. Or how he knows I secretly like them, and so on. And on. And on. He even put his brother up to texting me about how much he loves Wes' sideburns and how awesome they are. Nice try Wes and Randy. If you know Wesley, then you know he can take a small joke that probably started out funny, and turn it into the most annyoing thing you have ever heard in your life! So, basically what I am saying is we totally act twelve about the situation.

After some serious threats about cutting my hair, posting about it on Facebook, and even pinning my hair up in a faux bob, I knew I needed to be even a little more proactive. Saturday night I grabbed the scissors to show Wes I meant business. I pulled my hair all back, and was holding it against my neck and yelled at him to just cut or I would. I was hoping he would say something along the lines of alright, alright, I'll shave. However, that sentence never was uttered. He dramatically grabs the scissors and chops my hair off. My heart dropped. After I heard the scissors snip and my hair fall. In a shaky voice asked, "Did you seriously just do that?" OOOMMMGG! He starts panicking and yelling at me, "You can't play me like that Tara! You just can't!" We were both totally freaking out. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He finished the hair cut and the total inches lost were about five. It's been probably since high school since I have had my hair this short. The cut isn't that bad, but thank goodness I have just a few hairdressers friends, and we happen to be heading back to Mesa in less than a week and I can get it fixed then. Oy vey. I am still in shock. I cannot believe how the events played out. And don't tell me it's just hair. Hair is everything.

Here's a pic I know you are all dying to see:

And if you are wondering; yes, he still has those damn sideburns!!!

(They actually don't look bad in that pic, trust me they were much worse in person.)

Picking A Different Battle (Or Trying)

They say to pick your battles. I'm sure every marriage has those issues you have to choose. It could be the ole' putting the lid back on the toothpaste, taking out the trash, or putting your shoes away. I'm sure anyone could be nitpicked apart, and I'm sure I could be the girl to do it. Call me negative Nancy. I like to think of it as having a detailed eye.

I know I can annoy my husband. But, boy can he ANNOY me. All it takes is a bit (more than a bit) of facial hair. For years I have been in distress over my husband's side burns! They aren't just sideburns, they are chops that would make Elvis' burns look weak. I don't know what it is, they just bug me. Like so bad. I mean, I really throw a fit over this one. We call it a B fit. Just talking about it makes my blood pressure rise. And my heart pound. And my head swirl with angry thoughts.

And let me tell you, it's only HIS sideburns. I like them on other guys. I don't know what it is, maybe it's a control issue. I keep my hair longer-ish for him, so why does he to have the ugly burns? I try to manipulate the situation anyway I can.

He thinks growing facial hair is the defining thing about a man. I've caught him looking at facial hair websites. I've seen him admire other men's in public. The longer he went without burns, the more his fetish grew. We even had a public debate over it on Facebook. And the majority agreed with me.

I've cried to my sisters about it. I've cried to my friends about it. Hell, I even cried to my parents. I even thought about calling Dr.Laura But, deep down I know what she would say. (But, she seems to side with the husband most of the time anyway.
I knew what I had to do. I had to let it go, and accept him. I mean he is the best husband and dad, this is such a trivial issue. So, I've given up. And am letting him be him.

Last night, as we climbed into bed together, I reached over to gently stroke his cheek and ended up petting a patch of hair. "It's like petting a cat," I said. And then he started purring and meowing. And we laughed. Here he is proudly showing off his man chops on our family hike just this morning. And I am telling myself he is completing the family photo, not ruining it with his burns. ;)