Oh My Hoard!

I have a tween daughter. Well, she's only nine so I'm not sure if she even really qualifies for that since I don't know what the technical ages are for "tweens". Is it double digits only (10-12) prior to becoming a full-fledged teenager? Who knows? So whatever, she's tall enough, emotional enough and mature enough in my eyes to be labeled a tween. Heaven only knows what we are in for when she really does become a teenager.

She's a very imaginitive girl and she likes to be artistic. Probably one of her favorite art forms is "found art". Don't know what that is? Well, basically it's when people take garbage and turn it into something artistic, you know the type, right? I think it takes a special kind of person to create this kind of art, no really, I do. I am definitely not one of them. It has taken me a while to learn to not get frustrated with my daughter for her dumpster diving. Ok, so she has yet to actually jump into a dumpster, but she is not above digging through our house garbage cans. I cannot tell you how many times I have found something in her room that I recently tossed in the trash.

So all of this leads me to my point, which is... I'm worried my daughter may turn into a hoarder. A few weeks ago while shopping at Goodwill 50% off day she approached me and her dad with some trinket that she wanted to buy. I sighed and asked her if she really needed it. Of course, she always thinks she needs something so I shouldn't even bother to ask. Then I make the mistake of telling her that I think she may be turning into a hoarder. She has watched the shows with me on A&E and she is just as fascinated by them as I am and for me to say this to her was extremely upsetting. She immediately got mad at me. So I said "well, you're probably just a pre-hoarder, but I can kinda see you heading down that path." This did not help. It only made her madder. Then her father pipes up, "yeah, you're a 'twoarder' that's a tween hoarder." He and I chuckled and had great fun at her expense.

Needless to say she did not get whatever junk it was that she wanted at the store that day. And just to show you what I'm talking about as far as the hoarding goes I thought I would post some pics of her room. I cleaned it out the other day because I could not stand looking at it anymore and sometimes no matter how many times you ask your kids to clean their room it's never going to get done quite to your expectations. Granted, I will cut her a little slack because of the living situation (we have been living with my parents for a little while and she has been sharing a room with her brothers) but really she was pretty much like this before we moved back to AZ.

Is this normal? All of this trash, junk, ahem, stuff was found under the bed. And let me just say that this was not all of it.

What girl doesn't have an American Girl catalog under her bed?

This was an interesting treasure I found under there. A lego treasure chest filled with lego hands, how morbid!
And really, any spelling bee champ should have one of these under her bed.
This one made me smile. Especially the misspelling of the word "excel" (rule 1).
A pillbox turned into doggie bed. #1 made me laugh, #4 made me cry (although I certainly don't miss a snowy winter I do feel bad that my kids do).
Doll socks and shoes inside a Sucrets box inside a Valentine's treat box.

I know it could be worse, but honestly that's what I'm afraid of, it could be worse!!!

Lost



 "Keep a close watch on Scarlet," were Wesley's last words to me before he left for the store. We were at the world's largest Easter Pageant, which seems ironic because it's in lil' ole Mesa where generations of my family (including all us sisters) were born and raised. Inevitably, the pageant turns into the world's largest family reunion. I usually end up meeting a relative for the first time, and my mom looks at me like I'm stupid that I didn't know it was so-and-so's daughter. Anyway, Wes had just left the temple grounds where the pageant was being held to pick up some last minute treats.

It was one of those perfect spring desert nights; no sweater necessary and no sweating required either. We were there with my two older sisters, their families, and our parents. I was sitting there thinking what an enjoyable time everyone seemed to be having, when I glanced back to check on Scarlet and realized she wasn't there.

"Scarlet?" I called with no response, seeing fifteen rows of vacant metal folding chairs staring back at me blankly. I jumped out of my seat, Ivy on my hip. I was not too concerned yet and called to the group of cousins, "Do you guys see Scarlet?"

It took a few moments of heads shaking no for it to sink in, that I really did not know where my child was. The pit in my stomach growing, my heart accelerating, hysteria was coming on. The crowd that once seemed familiar and fun had now turned into a crowd of strangers that seemed to grow with my anxiety- and quickly at that. All I could do was seem to whimper, "Scarlet??" Over and over again. My eyes welling with tears I looked to Eliza and stuttered, "What do I do?" I was very much frozen with fear, and dark thoughts of a predator stealing my little girl.

After a few hellish minutes, where I swear I quit breathing, I turned around to see an angelic sight. My brother-in-law Kris holding my precious girl, completely unaware of the commotion she had just caused me. I suddenly remembered to breathe. He had found her playing a few rows of chairs behind us. We couldn't see her at first glance, because the backs of the chairs were taller. Thank you Kris, for taking a closer look.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder; however, I would have to disagree. My heart seemed to grow weaker, and more quickly than I ever could have imagined. I do not ever want or need to experience that again to understand my love for my children. Little girls of mine, stay close to your mama! And answer when I call your name, dammit!

Stubborn

Just before we got engaged my husband spoke to my father to get his blessing or permission or whatever it is you do when you speak to your future father-in-law to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. My dad said to him, "Are you sure you want to marry her? She can be pretty stubborn." My husband in his young, naive, so-in-love-and-couldn't-wait-to-be-married mode replied, "yeah, I know she is."

Uh, gee thanks Dad...

And over the years I've had to listen to my husband say, "Man, your dad was right. You ARE stubborn, I had no idea!"

This really grates on my stubborn mind. For the record, I like to think of it as being strong-willed, independent and assertive.

And now, when we have a child who rears the ugly head of stubbornness you can just guess who gets the blame. But that's ok, I can handle it. I'm STUBBORN, remember? I take it as a compliment. In fact, I like having stubborn kids. You want to know why? They ARE more independent. Hence they dress themselves sooner, are less clingy at an earlier age, and can tend to their own needs like pouring a bowl of cereal themselves, etc.

But, here's the problem: I have a potty training two-year old right now and we are butting heads over the issue. Not the peeing part, that for the most part is good. It's the other part we're talking about here and it's definitely a problem. He, quite possibly, could be the most stubborn of them all. The bribery isn't even working at this point. A full-size candy bar and a trip to get an ice cream cone are on the table thus far. The way to this kid's heart is through his stomach and he does really want these things, it's just that he doesn't want them enough to do the deed.

And so we are in a battle.

A battle of wills. His against mine. He thinks he's won at this point because I have backed off a little bit. But, I'm just biding my time and eventually I will win because I always do. And let's face it, I have had quite a few more years than him to perfect my stubbornness.

I wanted to rip my hair out

Growing up, I can remember lots of times that we kids made our Mom want to rip her hair out. It could have been anything from:
*Me and Britny fighting (which we did daily, maybe hourly, and they were also more like full on brawls)
*Having an extremely messy room (She would always say, "I'm gonna break my neck in here")
*Or spilling our cold cereal on the couch in the tv room (I can't tell you how many times my parents tried to implement not eating in there)
*One time my brother Vaughn spilled something on their carpet and cleaned it up with bleach (he obviously wasn't aware of it at the time), so they had a big white stain on the blue carpet in their room

A lot of these moments make me laugh now but I know they really frustrated my Mom at the time. Oh the joys of having seven kids.

Yesterday while sitting at the computer I turned around to find Mia doing this:



Yikes! I definitely wanted to scream. But I just marched that girl right up to the bathroom to give her a bath. Cleaning up peanut butter is no easy feat, so I learned. Of course today I can laugh about it. It's moments like these that make me feel more like my mother and then it makes me feel more appreciative.

PS-I just wanted to give a shout out to her because tomorrow is her Birthday! Love you Mom! You are the most kind, loving, hard working, charitable, spiritual, all around amazing woman I know.
Muah!

Mom Guilt

A recent moment of guilt-free motherhood

My oldest just turned 12 and I'm expecting baby #6 in a few months. I feel like I'm walking this fine line of being a "more mature" mother and yet still being a mother of young kids. I don't have teenagers yet but I've been doing this mothering thing for awhile so I should feel more like a pro, right? I don't. Sometimes I wonder what other people think of me. Do they think "that woman is crazy" or something like "wow, how does she do it all?" Honestly, I never feel like I do it all and quite often I do feel crazy!

Granted, I don't have 10 kids or anything but some people's reactions to five can be a bit overwhelming. I don't think that mothering such a large family is as hard as most people think it is. Wait a minute, maybe I'm doing something wrong? Maybe it should be harder and I'm just missing something. I mean I get it, there are plenty of things I should be doing that I don't, but why should I beat myself up over all the areas I fall short (and there are many). As mothers don't we spend enough time feeling guilty for all the things we do wrong or don't do at all? I look at my kids and while they are normal kids (by normal I mean fight like the dickens with their siblings, play too many video games, complain about chores, throw tantrums, etc.), they are also really good kids who excel in school, don't really get into any trouble at all, make friends easily (most of them, anyway) and I hope one day they will contribute productively to society. And so I say- guilt be gone! I'm tired of feeling bad or worrying about what other people think. I'm doing ok, and I'm ok with that, for now it's good enough for me. No More Mom Guilt.

Can you see the pouting pre-teen in the background? Nope, not suffering any guilt over this incident.

You see that tantrum throwing two year old on the end? Yep, he cried the whole time while riding on Dumbo during a recent trip to Disneyland. I mean, I didn't know that was allowed at the Happiest Place on Earth. He even threw his hat into the water below.