Sunday, May 22, 2011

Confession: Most Embarrassing Moment(s)

Warning: I am about to disclose way too much personal information. I hope you can handle it. (I know my sisters can.) Definitely going to be tmi, but we gotta keep it real here.

Where do I start? Embarrassing moments happen to me all too often. I've locked my baby in the car while it was running, I've driven away with the gas pump nozzle still in my car; I've been in a car accident, didn't see the damage to the car and let the lady leave scott free; I've been peeing on a plane to have my 2 year old open the door; and I stutter when I speak in public. There's more, but the point is I can be so socially awkward. I get the 'Is she OK stares?' all too often. Here are a few of my more memorable embarrassing moments:

Gettin' Down and Dirty

All growing up my parents had an office cleaning business. All the kids willingly, happily took part in the family business, especially me. ;) *sarcasm* Although, now I am more than grateful for all the many, many lessons it taught us.

Anyway, one day when I was at the fragile age of 17, I was cleaning the dentist's office in my ever so attractive head gear. Honestly, I personally do not know of anyone who's had to wear head gear since the 80's, but whatevs I did. Isn't that fact alone embarrassing enough? Back to the cleaning, I was just finishing vacuuming with my disc man; rocking out to some legit tunes and maybe doing some seriously sweet dance moves. I was twirling around as I pulled the cord out of the socket, and just as I looked up I saw the Dentist mouthing the word "hello." I pulled off my head phones and whipped off my head gear, as fast as I could. Turning many shades of scarlet I said "hello," not only to the dentist, but to his whole entire family too. He laughed and said, "Hey, we love to see people enjoy their work." Which actually, was the most endearing, perfect thing to say. It did make me feel better, and still does after all these years.

It was embarrassing. Period.
Before I got married I made an appointment with the ObGyn to get on birth control. I hadn't had my period for four months, and was a little anxious about all of it. It was my first time meeting this male doctor and he seemed ok, asked me the usual question, etc. Then he proceeded to give me my first pap smear. (Is there an uglier word?) As he was downtown he looks up at me, kind of chuckles then announces, "Annnnd you've just started your period!" What do I even say? I was mortified....Then he has his nurse hand him a tampon, and he inserts it for me. OMG! I think I stopped breathing right there on that table, and I surely wanted to just die. Then, as they step out of the exam room to let me get dressed I can hear the nurse announce just outside the door, "Well, that one's going to have to come back for the rest of her exam, she started her period on the table!" Talk about professional. I was totally shamed!

Hope you've enjoyed some of my humiliation! Looking forward to hearing some of my sisters' stories.

5 comments:

Michelle said...

I felt like I was there, embarrassed right along with you. Was this an overshare you ask? I think maybe a little bit. Ha Ha. Just kidding. If you were reading stories like this on someone else's blog wouldn't you be dying out of hilariousness? We are keeping it real here. That may include saying things we wouldn't normally share. You have had some seriously funny stories Tara.

Aliece said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aliece said...

Okay, I thought of a few of my own. I will share in a post.

Hardwick Family said...

haha!! Thats hilarious Tar!! I have never heard the office one!! I remember the OB but I didnt know he put the tampon in for you!! I would die!! You have so many stories this is only the beginning!!

Eliza said...

I told Kris about the texting one and he thought it was hilarious. These are pretty great ones though! You do have so many to choose from. :)