Miche's Most Embarassing

For some reason, most of my embarrassing moments happened when I was a child. Maybe back then I was more vulnerable to feeling embarrassed, I don't know. I do know one thing, my sister Tara's moments trump all of ours. I have had the usual accidentally farting in ballet class, riding my bike into a trash can while waving at someone, and falling flat on my stomach on stage at a ballet performance. But, to get things started I am going to tell you about one that happened just last night.

My in-laws invited Mia and me, and some of their neighbors over for a weenie roast last night. My father-in-law has a four wheeler that he uses for all sorts of tasks. It was outside by the fire and I asked him if I could give Mia a ride on it. I have never driven a four wheeler before. So he showed me what to do. Pretty much Mia screamed the whole time. I wanted her to be safe so I kept one arm around her. I kept doing the whole stop and go, stop and go. I felt like an idiot. I thought I might run into their horse pasture but fortunately I turned the four wheeler just in time. As I was finishing our little ride, I started to get worried about where and how I should stop. I kind of freaked out and before I knew it I was running into one of their plastic chairs. I heard Dan's dad yell, "Stop, stop." Yeah, I totally broke the chair. Their neighbor was standing there watching the whole time, looking at me like I was the dumbest girl in the world. I think I gave my in-laws heart attacks, and I don't think I will be riding the four wheeler again anytime soon.

I am not a fan of going to the dentist. I have had to get some serious dental work done lately. I always try to look really nice and dressed up when I go so that they don't judge me on my teeth. I also feel like I get better service from people when I look the part. One time after a long appointment, I got in the car and took a deep breath and glanced in the rear view mirror to fix my bed head hair. Then I saw them. Two visible boogers right in my nose. I. wanted. to. die. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I still can't laugh about it yet.

One time, when I was in the fourth grade everyone was out at recess playing soccer. That's what all the cool kids did. Whether it was football, soccer, or kick ball. Lots of us girls would try to join in even though the ball never got passed to us. I remember this so clearly, one day the soccer ball was headed straight for me. I couldn't even believe it. Much to my dismay the ball smacked straight into my stomach. It came with such force that the ball forced me to let out a ginormous fart! Ah ha ha! It was so loud and EVERYONE heard and was laughing. I yelled, "It wasn't me! It wasn't me!" But everyone knew that it was. I wanted to die at the time and crawl into a hole. But now I think it is hilarious.